How Men Can Build Trust With Each Other
Most men walk around with trust issues, as if nothing is wrong. They don’t trust other men, don’t open up, and assume that every guy is out to backstab them the second they turn their back. And if you’ve been burned before, it leaves you on high alert and protective. But if you want real brotherhood, real loyalty, and a circle of men you can count on, you need to change your mindset.
Trust isn’t something you hope for; it’s something you build, test, and prove.
This week, Zac Small and I collaborated as we do each week and wrote a post on the importance of Trust as a parent. Check it out here:
Stop Trusting Too Fast, But Don’t Shut Everyone Out
Trust isn’t about blind faith; it’s about evidence. Too many guys either trust too easily and get betrayed, or they trust no one and isolate themselves. What is the right move? Vet people, put other men to the test. Watch how they handle stress, how they talk about others, and whether they follow through on their word.
Give trust where it’s earned. Not before, not out of desperation, and not because someone says the right things. Action over words!
Be Consistent And Demand The Same
Trust isn’t about big, dramatic gestures. It’s built in the small, everyday things. If you say you’ll be somewhere, be there. If you make a promise, keep it. If you expect loyalty, give it. If another man isn’t consistent and doesn’t honor your code, cut him loose.
You can’t trust a fake. You can’t trust a liar. You can’t trust a guy who’s different depending on who he’s around. If he’s inconsistent, he’s unreliable and if he talks shit about others in your company you better belive he talks that way about you.
Risk Is Necessary, But It Should Be Calculated
Men with trust issues want guarantees before opening up, but that’s not how it works. Trust always carries some risk, but you control how much. Start small, share something minor, and let your guard down. See if it stays private. Give a little responsibility. Watch how he handles it.
If a guy shows he can be trusted in small ways, you can bet he’ll handle bigger things well. But if he fumbles the little things, he’ll screw up when it really matters. Pay attention to who you let into your life. This has more to do with your standards than the capabilities of that man.
Trust Is A Two-Way Street
If you want loyalty, give loyalty. You want honesty, be honest. You can’t demand trust while keeping everything about yourself locked up. That doesn’t mean spilling your guts to every dude you meet. It means being real when it counts.
Don’t be the guy who expects deep friendships but won’t offer the same in return. Be reliable, be straight-up, and don’t tolerate men who can’t do the same. Letting other men see the real you allows for real connection and brings awareness to things you must address.
Handle Conflict Like A Man
Nothing ruins male friendships faster than cowardice when conflict arises. Too many men either avoid issues or blow up over stupid shit. Real trust grows through honesty and resolution. If there’s a problem, bring it up directly. No passive-aggressive nonsense, no silent treatment, and no fake smiling while you secretly hate the guy.
A man who can’t handle an honest conversation is weak and unworthy. If he can’t admit when he’s wrong, he’s a liability. Strong men handle conflict, fix the issue, and move forward. That’s how trust gets stronger and genuine bonds are built.
Recognize That Not Every Man Is Your Enemy
A lot of men bring old wounds into new friendships. They assume every guy is going to betray them like the ones in their past. That mindset will keep you closed off and alone. Not every man is out to screw you over. Some are just as tired of fake and untrustworthy people as you are.
Give new men a chance to prove themselves before assuming the worst. Let their actions decide, not your past traumas.
Build Brotherhood Through Shared Struggle
Men bond when they go through something difficult together. That’s why soldiers, athletes, and men in high-pressure situations form deep trust. If you want to build genuine friendships, create shared experiences that test you both.
Train together. Push each other in the gym or with a physical challenge.
Work on a project or business together. Build something that requires commitment.
Hold each other accountable. If a man says he wants to improve, don’t let him off the hook.
Trust isn’t just built through conversation; it’s forged in action. Go through challenges together, and you’ll see who’s real and who’s not.
I run a private community called the Fraternity of Excellence where men come together daily online and have in-person meetups throughout the year. We are constantly working on building trust within ourselves and the community. You can find it here: fraternityofexcellence.com
Trust Is Earned, Never Assumed
You don’t have to trust every man you meet. In fact, you shouldn’t. But if you want deep, reliable, loyal friendships, you need to be the kind of man who earns trust and surrounds yourself with men who do the same.
Vet people, but don’t assume the worst.
Be consistent and expect consistency in return.
Take small risks to build trust over time.
Handle conflict directly and maturely.
Build shared experiences that create brotherhood.
That’s how trust is built. That’s how strong male friendships last. That’s how you stop walking around with trust issues and start building a circle of men who actually have your back.