How Childhood Shapes Society
Growing up, many of us were subject to a form of authority from our parents that claimed moral superiority over our actions.
The narrative was clear: obey or face consequences.
Children are punished for noncompliance, physically hit and spanked when they misbehave, and emotionally manipulated if they go against the family rules. All of this becomes distorted if we believe that, as parents, we have control over our children’s lives. But why does the mistreatment of children persist, and what does it say about the society we’ve constructed?
At the heart of this issue lies the notion of control. When parents believe they have a moral order to rule over their children, any mistreatment is rationalized as discipline for the child’s own good. This warped sense of power, combined with the desire to mold “good citizens,” sets a dangerous precedent. It’s a narrative that justifies coercion and control under the false premise of doing what is best for the child.
Conversations with fathers about parenting often reveal a common misconception about using control as a tool for good. They think my children will be healthy by forcing them to eat good foods or that they will teach kindness by forcing them to share their toys. However, compliance in society is enforced through the same threat of violence or punishment.
Consider the parallels between parental authority and governance. Just as a father asserts control over his children, politicians justify their authority by claiming to act in the public interest. Despite the evident flaws and abuses of power, we cling to the illusion of gracious rule. This normalization of authority breeds a culture where individuals believe others have control over their lives, which breeds helplessness and inferiority.
The source of the government’s authority is “the consent of the governed.” This means that the government is not the ruler, but the servant or agent of the citizens; it means that the government as such has no rights except the rights delegated to it by the citizens for a specific purpose.
—Ayn Rand
Yet, there is hope for change.
If children are raised in households prioritizing freedom and independence, they won’t have to live in constant fear of being harmed. They will realize that they cannot be controlled by anyone else and will work towards controlling themselves. Self-discipline is a natural result of peaceful parenting. When raised in a home that values mutual respect, cooperation, and win-win outcomes, children learn to respect themselves and the lives of others.
A father’s role is not one of dominance but of guidance and support. By recognizing the power they wield, fathers can encourage their children’s growth with love and integrity. The values your children live by are the ultimate test of how you have raised them.
The key to dismantling the hypocrisy of parental control lies in redefining our understanding of authority. It’s about creating homes where freedom is valued over coercion, respect is earned through mutual understanding, and the principles of peaceful parenting are upheld.
There is no greater cure to tyranny than raising children to reject oppression in all its forms, even if everyone else says otherwise.