Good Men Still Exist

A few days ago, we lost a brother.

Since then, I have found myself thinking about life, friendship, and what it really means to be a man surrounded by other good men.

One of the strangest beliefs I have ever encountered is the idea that human beings are inherently evil. That deep down, people are selfish, corrupt, dangerous, and only looking out for themselves.

Maybe that has been some people’s experience.

It has not been mine.

The older I get, the more convinced I become that most people are carrying far more goodness than they are given credit for. Most men are not waking up wondering who they can hurt. Most men are waking up trying to provide for their families, protect the people they love, solve problems, carry responsibilities, and do the best they can with the tools they were given.

What I have witnessed inside the Fraternity of Excellence over the years has only strengthened that belief.

I have watched men spend hours helping another man through a divorce that was not their problem. I have watched men donate money to brothers they had never met in person. I have watched men jump on calls late at night because another man was struggling. I have watched men celebrate each other’s victories with genuine enthusiasm and sit quietly beside each other through loss without needing to fix anything.

That is not evil.

That is goodness in action.

We live in a culture that constantly feeds us stories about what is wrong with men. We hear about the abusers, the criminals, the narcissists, the predators, the cowards, and the failures. Those stories exist, and they should be confronted honestly.

But there is another story that rarely gets told.

The story of ordinary men doing extraordinary things every day.

The father getting up before sunrise to provide for his family.
The husband trying to become more patient.
The man rebuilding his life after years of mistakes.
The friend who answers the phone when someone needs him.
The brother who refuses to let another man suffer alone.

Those men exist everywhere.

I know because they are the men I spend my life around.

When I think about my friend Bill, one of the things that hits me hardest is how important human connection really is. We did not need to talk every day or hang out often, but when we did, it was meaningful. The value of a friendship is not measured in hours logged or messages exchanged. It is measured in the depth of the connection. Every conversation I had with Bill mattered. Every interaction left me feeling better than before. He was the kind of man who could make you laugh, make you think, and make you feel seen, often in the same conversation.

We talk about self-improvement as if life is a solo journey. As if strength means handling everything alone.

I do not believe that anymore.

Some of the strongest men I know are strong precisely because they allow other people into their lives. They make themselves known, ask for help, lean on their brothers when life becomes heavy, and understand that courage is not isolation. Courage is remaining connected when every instinct tells you to withdraw.

The truth is that every man will eventually encounter pain he cannot solve with discipline alone. Some losses cannot be outworked. There are wounds that cannot be conquered through productivity. There are seasons where grit is not enough.

In those moments, what often saves us is not more answers or strategies.

It is another human being.

A voice on the phone.
A brother sitting beside us.
A friend reminding us that we matter.

Someone willing to carry part of the weight for a while.

That is why I reject the idea that humanity is fundamentally broken or evil.

What I have seen is men driving hours to attend a funeral. Men checking on each other after difficult conversations. Men sacrificing time, energy, money, and attention for people they care about. Men choosing integrity when nobody is watching. Men trying again after failure. Men refusing to give up on each other.

If anything, I think the tragedy of life is not that people are evil.

It is that so many good people forget how valuable they are. They underestimate the impact they have on others. They assume nobody notices. They believe they are carrying their burdens alone.

But every time I look around this brotherhood, I see proof that none of us were meant to walk through life by ourselves.

I see men showing up. I see men helping. I see men caring.

I see men loving each other in the most masculine way possible (masculine flirting), not through grand speeches or instructions, but through presence, loyalty, consistency, and action.

If there is one lesson I have taken from this week, it is this:

Do not wait.
Call your friends.
Check on your brothers.
Tell people what they mean to you.

Let yourself be known.

Because in a world that constantly tells us what is wrong with humanity, some of the greatest evidence of what is right with humanity is found in the steady actions of good men who refuse to abandon one another.

These pics are from a Tough Mudder we ran a couple of years ago and the FoE West Virginia retreat, and are my favorite pics of Bill. Rest in peace, brother.